How Friendships Change When You Become a Mum
Photo by Anna Shvets
It goes without saying that adulthood changes friendships. From graduating college to starting a new job and moving cities, we’re constantly growing with each major change! And having a baby is one of the biggest life changes of all.
So, naturally, our friendship dynamics also change when we become mums! Whether for better or worse, it’s important to anticipate shifting relationships so that you can prepare for the layers of emotions that come with becoming a mum.
Your priorities shift
One of the biggest changes that comes with motherhood is a shift in priorities. Suddenly, your child becomes the center of your world, and your time, energy, and attention revolve around their needs. This can make it challenging to maintain friendships in the same way we did before becoming mums.
You’ll find that you can’t be as flexible to socialize whenever you please, and you may need to be more selective about the activities you participate in. This doesn’t mean that you can’t still prioritize both your friendships and little ones! It just means that the ways we care for our friends may look different in this new season of life.
Motherhood Can Feel Isolating
Unfortunately, motherhood can often be an isolating experience, particularly in the early days when you are adjusting to your new role and your child's needs are demanding. You may feel like you are the only one going through this experience, and this can make it challenging to reach out to friends who may not understand what you are going through. Just know that these feelings of loneliness are completely normal and by no means permanent.
While your priorities now center around kid-friendly activities, such as playdates, storytime at the library, or playground outings, your friends without kids might not be able to connect with you over these things— and that’s ok! This can also make space for new connections with other mums! Having children can create an instant bond between mothers, and you may find that you have a shared understanding and experience that can be comforting. Check out our blog on how to meet other mothers to help you connect!
Maintaining Friendships Takes More Work
It’s also important to acknowledge that maintaining the friendships you have may take more work after becoming a mum. Many people will want to give you space and may feel distant after you have a baby. So you may have to be more intentional about initiating plans with friends, asking for help, and inviting people into your space. Let them know that you want them there!
Some friendships may fade away as you move in different directions, while others may deepen as you navigate the challenges and joys of motherhood together. This evolution is completely natural and nothing to feel guilty about. The people that matter most will continue to be in your life, supporting you through every change.
Ultimately, becoming a mom can have a significant impact on your friendships. You may find that your priorities, interests, and social dynamics change, and this can be challenging at times. However, it's important to remember that friendships are a two-way street, and maintaining connections with friends who are important to you can be a valuable source of support and joy during this new time in your life!